Blow the Candles Out
by Rachel Lily Gleek Potter
Summary: Sam Evans has told a lot of lies. It's hard not to tell a lot of lies when you're keeping a huge part of yourself secret; something that makes you, well, you. Hiding something the way Sam has decided to hide it, well that takes a lot of lies.


**A/N: Prompted on tumblr: sam/lies.**

Sam Evans has told a lot of lies. It's hard not to tell a lot of lies when you're keeping a huge part of yourself secret; something that makes you, well, you. Hiding something the way Sam has decided to hide it, well that takes a lot of lies.

Sam knew he was gay from the age of thirteen. His best friend was one of the boys you could tell a million miles away. And Sam did the thing that he'd considered the stuff of fairytales. He fell in love with his best friend.

He never told him. He never told anyone. He was too scared of the attitudes in their small town. He just stayed his friend through thick and thin, the only way he could show he cared.

When they were sixteen he was walking home late at night when he heard screams. He followed the sounds to an alleyway where he saw his best friend being beaten by boys who were Sam's teammates, who he would have considered his friends.

"Come get your turn licking the fag." They called to him. And his best friend looked up at him, with pleading eyes but also resignation. He thought Sam would abandon him. Or even hurt him more. And that look, that desperation, drove Sam's rising anger past the boiling point.

"Leave him alone." He said harshly. When the other boys merely laughed he stepped forward, yanking the one he knew was their leader against the wall. "Get out of here now before I make you." When the boy laughed in his face, Sam punched him, hard. After a few more hits, the bullies all ran away and Sam knelt, cradling his trembling best friend in his arms. "It's all going to be okay. I've got you. It's okay, it's okay." He murmured as he carried him home.

A month later, Sam didn't get there in time. He got to that same dark alley to find his best friend lying there, unconscious and bleeding. He rushed to the hospital, tears falling as he begged the boy he loved not to leave him.

He held his best friend as he died, whispering nonsense that was intended for comfort, but for which one of them he didn't know. As the smaller boy opened his eyes one last time, Sam looked deep into them and whispered the words that had never passed his lips before. "I love you." He died with a smile on his face and the ghost of a kiss on his lips.

Sam asked his mom to transfer, to move, because he couldn't stay there; because he couldn't face the boys who'd killed his best friend; the boys who weren't getting punished because there was "no proof." She understood that if she didn't get her son out of there, he would punish them himself.

He went to McKinley vowing to keep his sexuality hidden. He forced himself to try to fit in; to be the stereotypical jock. He vowed not to care, never to fall in love again.

The first day he joined glee club, everything he'd built up came tumbling down when he was confronted by his locker by a brunette boy who somehow managed to remind him of his best friend and awaken something deep inside that he thought had been destroyed.

Sam Evans told a lot of lies but the one he regretted most was one of the simplest, the smallest.

"_Gene Kelly and Donald O'Neil would disagree. Make Em Laugh? Singing in the Rain? 1952. Wow, maybe you are straight." _

The straight dumb jock he was forcing himself to be told Kurt that he had no clue what "Singing in the Rain" was. The boy inside who had loved his best friend screamed in protest. That was his favorite movie. Denying it was like denying him; an insult to his memory.

When Kurt stopped their duet, Sam couldn't deny he felt a bit of relief. He wasn't supposed to feel like this about Kurt; it was dangerous. But watching him perform his duet with himself, Sam realized he couldn't help it. No matter how hard he tried to push them away, he had feelings for Kurt Hummel. So he started dating Quinn; he had to do something to get on top in the school.

Standing in the locker room, hearing Mike and Artie telling Karofsky to back off Kurt took Sam back to that dark alley. He would not let Karofsky do to Kurt what had happened to his best friend.

They lauded him as the hero for attacking Karofsky. But when Kurt's face turned to thank him, all he wanted to do was wrap the boy in a tight hug and never let him go. The pain and fear in his eyes scared Sam more than he wanted to admit. What was the jock doing to him?

As much as he missed him, Sam had to admit he was glad to see Kurt leave. Karofsky was a mental case and Dalton was surely a safer place for Kurt to be. But that didn't make the ache in his chest go away.

Sam didn't know he was coming back. When he walked into the choir room for glee and saw Kurt standing there his heart skipped a beat. He sat down unobtrusively; he had no place among all of Kurt's friends welcoming him back but his chest seemed like it was about to explode with joy.

"Mind if I sit here?" Sam shook his head, moving his books off the seat beside him and smiling widely as Kurt sat next to him. When Mr. Schuester started prattling on about the week's assignment, Sam leaned over and whispered in Kurt's ear. The other boy looked at him and laughed. "Matthew McConaghuey?" He asked with a smile. Sam shrugged lightly and grinned at the happy look on Kurt's face.

Kurt was the first one he told about his best friend, when the countertenor found him crying in an empty classroom on his first love's birthday. After Sam finished the story of his friend's robbed life, Kurt tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. Sam shocked himself more than even Kurt when he turned and buried his face in the smaller boy's shoulder as he sobbed. Stiffly at first, then more relaxed as he realized Sam wasn't going to pull away, Kurt hugged him tightly.

"Kurt?" He said softly, nervously. "Yes Sam?" Sam looked into his beautiful clear eyes. "I'm gay." He whispered. Kurt's eyes widened and he shook his head slightly, as if it had to be some cruel joke. He searched Sam's eyes carefully, and then gently, slowly leaned forward. Sam slowly moved to meet him halfway for the kiss that would be the beginning of the rest of their lives.

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know?**


End file.
